Footprints

Have you ever thought about the impact you make, the way you change the lives of the people you cross paths with?

There are no chance meetings.

I recently met a man with an interesting philosophy; he believed that God put people into our lives, into our 'circle of acquaintances', because we needed to share something with them. Every new person we meet comes with new insight and a new perspective. These people change our lives. These people change who we are.

This man I came to know believed further that God put people in our lives not only to teach us, but so that we could similarly teach them.


His concept was not lost on me. 

I was rather pleased to hear it and had been thinking on the subject myself...

You see, I've only just returned from a six month stay in Arizona (where I met this man). I met many new people who changed my perspective a lot.

As our venture in the desert began, I did not anticipate to meet many people, I was fairly bitter about it. I often referred to myself and my situation jokingly as 'life in Rapunzel's tower' because it was expected that I wouldn't be leaving my house very much. I settled in by doing the only solo activity that really appealed to me:practicing my music.

I started playing through all of my music, trying to get better at sight-reading, playing songs more perfectly on the first time.



Having said this, I must say that I was fairly confident about the people I would meet. I knew that I would be having seminary with the locals and going to church with many of the same, but I didn't expect these people to come to mean too much to me because of the previous experiences that I'd had and because I would only be there for a few months. I expected to have pleasant experiences with them, to know their names and do something outside of church once or twice, but nothing more...

It took a long time for me to realize that I had been proven wrong.

Less than a week after moving in, a girl I'd seen only once in my first time at church kindly invited me to her house for a game night.

I wasn't too shocked, most people tried to be friendly to outsiders at first, but I was still excited to go to her party...

So I did. It was actually pretty boring for like the whole first half hour. I met so many people that night and I had no idea where it was going.

The next weekend, I was asked out on a date by a young man I'd met there at the party. There was really nothing special about this but if I didn't add this segment what I would have said for a transition would have been a lie, so you can just ignore this paragraph.

Every following week, this same girl that had reached out to me invited me to her house for some social activity.

I came to know her fairly well, although it took me a while to realize that too.


So week after week she invited me and week after week I came. I got to know a whole lot of the kids in the area and I had a pretty good time.

Not long after I'd come into the area, people I'd met once or twice started showing up at my house and bringing me cookies or taking me out shopping and everything else under the sun.

I assumed these people were merely very friendly and comfortable with spending money with strangers... ya, I never really thought about the way that sounded... it was all just a silent assumption, I didn't put much thought into it... (dumb blonde, remember? --see rantingsofacrazyteen.blogspot.com ) I never thought of this being abnormal.

As I neared the end of my stay in the land of the flaming sun, I went paddleboarding with two of my new friends (although I had until this point never really considered them to be super close). One girl turned to me and said "I bet you've had the best six months of your life here."

I was stunned by her sudden remark. STUNNED.

The Arizona experience had not really been too great. It was hot, I had been in only online schooling for several months, I'd been on at least five or six 11 hour road trips to Utah... and then back again, I'd been on another six hour trip to New Mexico and a thirty-something hour trip to Delaware--And back again... and my grandfather had been diagnosed with and passed away from an aggressive form of Mantle Cell Lymphoma. I had felt lonely and abandoned by many of my friends from before. I was thoroughly confused by the craziness of my life in general, and I'd had nothing else to do other than watch TV and practicing for 7 hours a day with no real furniture other than one couch in my house...

all I could think of to say was

"Well my Grandpa died..."

she looked down feeling awkward, but recovered, "I didn't mean it like that, I mean..." she paused, "Everyone has been so open to you. You've done so many fun things. This must have been the best few months socially of your whole life! You must've had so much fun!"

I responded numbly "Ya, it has been pretty fun I guess..."


I was left to think about her remark for an hour of paddling my surfboard up a river in the quiet of the outdoors.


I had been TOTALLY WRONG.

Here all these people were, going out of their way to spend time with a crazy blonde who they'd barely met and would scarcely see again. They took me out to ice cream, out to play ridiculous games, to a lake in the middle of a huge desert...

I had been completely ungrateful.

completely.

There was one song I had been practicing particularly in my spare time in the middle of nowhere.

It was a piano solo and an arrangement of the hymn, "Have I Done Any Good?"

This song now came flooding to my every thought.

I had imagined this to be my mantra. When I left Utah for Arizona, I was kept going by a thought that maybe I would be able to help these people I would meet. Maybe I would brighten their days... I had never even considered that it might possibly be the other way around.


Yes, I had done some good, yes, I had helped people I came to know, but I had really come here to learn through them helping me.


I was so blessed by their examples, so touched by their genuine care and concern that I knew this was a lesson I could never forget or take 'for granite' (as the illiterates like to say -- yes, I'm aware that's spelled murderously wrong)...

It was a lesson that needed to become a focus in my life. This was a lesson that I'd foolishly thought I had already learned, but just like every other lesson, I hadn't mastered it yet (and clearly I still have light years to go, even on this one), but I knew that this was something I needed to learn now.

When I left for the desert, I knew I would learn something. I knew that because God wanted me there so definitely there was just as definitely a purpose. I knew that it wouldn't be easy, but that I would be blessed, but I never could have anticipated any of how it worked out. I thought I was so clever and so wonderful... And I still am, but I've come to realize that there's a lot more to life than I had thought before. I was extremely humbled by what I learned.


That piano solo I mentioned before, it's become a very meaningful thing to me now. It's transcended beyond just a solo, it's become a pondering place for me. It's become a symbol.

The words go like this:

1. 1. Have I done any good in the world today?
   Have I helped anyone in need?
   Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
   If not, I have failed indeed.
   Has anyone's burden been lighter today
   Because I was willing to share?
   Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
   When they needed my help was I there?
2. (Chorus)
   Then wake up and do something more
   Than dream of your mansion above.
   Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
   A blessing of duty and love.
3. 2. There are chances for work all around just now,
   Opportunities right in our way.
   Do not let them pass by, saying, "Sometime I'll try,"
   But go and do something today.
   'Tis noble of man to work and to give;
   Love's labor has merit alone.
   Only he who does something helps others to live.
   To God each good work will be known.
4. Text and music: Will L. Thompson, 1847-1909, alt.
5. https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/have-i-done-any-good?lang=eng

So now I have a new mission.

I want to make a real difference in real people's lives.

I am going to give it all I have...

And you should too

Because this is the kind of a lesson that can't just stay inside me.

I have to share it with others. I have to help it bless other people just as it blessed me through the love that I felt from a few fantastic, desert-dwelling saints who rescued me from my own, self-inflicted filth and misery.***

So please don't just be on your merry way, but make it a little merrier for those around you too, even--and especially--if you have to go well out of your way to do it.






***now before one of you gets the idea that I mean this was like some horrible place where I almost died and was suffering torture and bleeding all over the place or something, please understand, 

That's just the way I talk. I like to dramaticize my main points... a lot... times 12... Really.

So don't worry, I'm alright, there's nothing wrong. Don't worry.





I also just realized (after writing this post) that there's a similar one on my other blog relating the same story in a different way, but it's completely different... anyway, you can read that here.
http://rantingsofacrazyteen.blogspot.com/2014/07/arizona.html